My head is a hive of words that will not settle. I am forever trying not to drown in my own thoughts. The crashing waves leave a tiredness that cannot be cured by any sleep or rest. I have always been good at pretending and I bet somewhere there is an award engraved with my name, for playing alive, despite the times I watched myself die over and over again.
My feelings will suddenly escape me at times through the hidden parts of me that I never had a chance to seal. I try to contain them but they still manage to escape. They peek out behind my shadow that I forever keep in front of me as a guard. It slowly ruins me because the truth feels so ugly. It is a both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply but in the same breath, to feel nothing at all.